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Monday, January 30, 2006

i am exhausted

WEEKEND SUMMARY

Thurs Evening
reunion band practice
drinking till 5am (1.5 bottles of wine)

Friday
wake up at 7am (after 2 hours of sleep)
drive for 3 hours
collect shellfish
go to pub and drink 3 G&Ts
attend someone elses's important and solemn family ceremony
drive 1.5 hours
clean up shellfish collecting mess
drinks (2 rums)
dinner
socialising
awkward social circle moments
go to bed at 11pm
toss and turn and keep waking up all night

Saturday
Woken up at 8am
Breakfast
Assist with various party set up things
2:30pm RLT sandwich
2:45 finally get a chance to nap for 45 minutes
3:30 wake up and shower and get into costume
4pm start drinking and socialising (12 vodka cruisers and 500ml of vodka)
5:30am go to bed

Sunday
wake up at 12noon
clean up the mess
1:30 drink cups of tea and eat leftover sausages
2:30 drive back to Auckland
4pm check emails and messages. Ignore emails and messages.
4:30pm go to bed
Sleep

Monday
crawl out of bed at 11:30am
Do nothing

THE END
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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

busy busy

This past week has been exceedingly busy: celebrations, birthdays, drinking, going out, recovery, big day out, drinking, staying up all night, scifi, recovery, drinking, more scifi, and scrabble. It turns out I am CRAP at scrabble - who would've thought!

I have been so busy that I haven't even managed to clean up the pigsty that my apartment seems to be becoming. Lets see...this is the first free moment I have had since Tuesday evening last week. And lots of the non-free moments have included mess-making. So, I am sorry I haven't been able to reply to the very interesting and thoughtful comments about banning the burqa.

Anyway, this is not really a free moment. I am stealing this time away from making my MERMAID COSTUME. I haven't even started it and I have to finish it tonight. Hmmm//

I am going to a 21st (woohoo!!) with a beach theme. I know most people won't dress up, but I like dressing up and I love creating costumes. I don't think I have ever been to a proper 21st with like kegs and drunk 21 year olds. It should be fun and very very very very interesting. I am actually kind of scared of it but I am currently saying yes to all invites and "doing scary things."

As well as the 21st this weekend I also have AA reunion practice tomorrow which I won't get time to practice for cause tonight is going to be swallowed by The Mermaid Costume.

Oh and next week/weekend is really busy as well: gigs, birthdays, canyoning...
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Don't Dream it, Be It!

Excellent life advice.
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Sunday, January 22, 2006

an unease

There is an interesting post at Sir Humphreys about The Netherlands banning the burqa. Topics like this make me feel very uneasy. I don't like the implications of either side at all.

If my brain was working I'd think about it and comment on my thoughts.
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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

the shoe thing

I just tried to count how many pairs of shoes I have in order to illustrate the point that although I don't "get" the shoe thing, it is one of the few really girly characteristics I have.

I have too many pairs of shoes to count in my head. I'd guess around 50 pairs. Is that excessive?
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Thank The Universe for Radiohead

Today I practiced "living the moment" and dipping my toe "outside of my comfort zone."

About 4pm this afternoon, while I was pondering how much to sell my bass rig for and what username I should use for trademe, Shredder (ex-guitarist) rang and asked if I wanted to jam tonight. It was completely out of the blue. I haven't picked up my bass since the Asteroid Andy reunion gig in April last year.

I said "yeah, why not." Then proceeded to spend the next few hours feeling sick and scared and on the verge of changing my mind. I really didn't feel like it. I am generally very bad at jamming and I have not wanted to play my bass at all for ages and I thought I'd be crap.

The "jam" which was actually more of a singer audition was funny. I was totally unprepared and so was everyone else. You know what it's like. Everyone trying to think of a cover they know but no one actually knowing more than bits of songs, let alone all of us knowing all of the same song. We jammed for a bit and spent a large amount of time trying to think of classic, easy rock songs.

In the end we managed to get through one song: Creep by Radiohead. Yay for Radiohead! I didn't know I knew it, but it turns out I do. Nice easy song that.

Anyway, it was fun and I wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought I would be. Unfortunately now I have to revise my very recent and very firm decision to sell all my musical gear. This is exactly what always happens when I make a very firm plan.
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Monday, January 16, 2006

delicious links of the day

Links are safe.

Facade - good source of free readings (tarot, unumerology, runes etc).

HassleMe - A tool that nags you via email about "things you know you should be doing, but which you'll forget."

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Quiz: Which File Extension Are You?

You are .*  You are a wildcard.  You are everything to everybody.  You can't make up your mind as to what you want to be.
Which File Extension are You?

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Sunday, January 15, 2006

polygamy

Lucyna posts about some of the most fascinating topics.

Her latest post at Sir Humphreys is entitled To Make Polygamy Legal is to Possess Women. Those of you who know me will know that this is exactly the sort of title likely to provoke a response from me: it's about alternative relationship models, the law, and feminism...all of which push my argumentative buttons.

My first response was "Polygamy's illegal?!! I didn't actually know that. Not that I pay much attention to what is and is not illegal. After all, there seems to be absolutely no sense to why some things are legal and others aren't and who wants to go around keeping track of all the silly laws?

Lucyna says:
As a woman, I am truly horrified that the clueless people involved think that having polygamy illegal is harmful to women. As Robert Spencer says, the opposite is true:

'... it [polygamy] is inherently harmful to women, who are reduced to the status of possessions.'

Hmmm... I don't think either of those things. I don't think that having polygamy illegal is harmful to women and I don't think that polygamy is inherently harmful to women either.

I am a bad feminist.

I am also confused by the possession thing. I don't see how the number of spouses in a marriage affects whether the wife is a possession or not. Surely it is either the institute of marriage (monogomous, polygamous, whatever) and/or the attitudes and behaviour of those involved in the marriage that makes someone a possession. And it is not always the wife who is treated like a possession.

One of the arguments for monogamy and against polygamy was that monogamy is an equal partnership between spouses.

Again. Confused. Surely equality of parntership in a relationship is defined by the attitude and behaviour of the particpants in the relationship, not the number of spouses?

Another argument against polygamy seems to be that is another attack on the Christian ideal of marriage and weakening family structure. I am not completely sure what the Christian ideal of marriage is though. I think people mean monogamy but I seem to recall many wives of various Old Testament dudes (???) and aren't there some Christians who live a polygamous lifestyle? I think maybe by "Christian ideal" people mean "my ideal" and "the only right way."

Then there is the whole the state should protect marriage as something sacred between between one man and one woman in order to protect society.

I understand the argument. I just disagree. I don't think society needs protecting. Lucyna posted a very interesting quote from Dhimmi Watch.
Marriage is a codification of society's legitimate interest in stabilizing the very volatile force of human fertility: this force comprises sexual attraction, procreation, and the inevitable linkage of families, tribes, and lineages that proceeds therefrom. The state has a legitimate interest here because families enter disputes; tribes go to war; children must be cared for, educated, enculturated. Moreover, individuals can get divorced, but families, once there are offspring, cannot. There have to be rules about how these things are managed, or the whole society suffers. Thus, marriage.
Interesting. Logical. I agree that families are important. I just disagree that by making gay and polygomous marriages illegal we are strengthening families.

Oh and that reminds me of another thing I don't get. I think it came up with the gay marriage debate as well. It seems that people want the state to protect the monogomous ideal of marriage in order to stop family structures from weakening and thereby giving the state gaining control of the children. Is it just me that thinks this doesn't make any sense? Maybe it does make sense. I just don't get it. I must be missing some crucial information.

I think that the opposition to polygamy all comes down to people feeling threatened, which is understandable. Their ideals/way of life ARE being threatened by different ideals/ways of life.

Here is an interesting post about Legalising Polygamy in Canada.
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judgemental contrariness

In real life I am feeling a little argumentative. It's Bob's fault, he is provoking me deliberately. Anyway, the result is that the argumentativeness is spilling over into this, my unreal life.

So AL. Yes I am judgemental. So what? Everyone is judgemental. IMO SH is judgemental about Lefties.

Yes I think Humphrites (huge generalisation I know) are socially conservative relative to me. Yes, there will be Humphrite individuals who are quite liberal but the odds are that they will still be more conservative than I am.

Being judgemental about this is a good thing because it means that I do not go around polluting your blog by commenting about all the things I disagree with. And when I do comment I do not usually say EXACTLY what I really think. I am usually restrained. Perhaps it is because I like the Humphrites and I think they are intelligent and interesting. It is like how I wouldn't go to a friend's Christian Church service and try converting everyone to Satanism (and no, I am not a Satanist although I do agree wtih some of the precepts).

So there :p
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Saturday, January 14, 2006

altered states

I suppose it is best not to read political blogs in altered states. It is like that "don't blog drunk" advice.

Alcohol affects judgement.

Lucyna posted about polygamy at Sir Humphreys. Specifically whether it should be de-criminalised in Canada. I happened to read the post in a sleep-deprived and alcohol-enhanced state. So of course I commented on it, which was in retrospect a little silly. After all, I know that my views on such things would be ummmm... how to put it... outside the world view of most Sir Humphrey people. I know it is one of those things that we will never agree on.

Nevermind. It was only a momentary lapse in judgement and now I have an interesting topic to write about!
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Thursday, January 12, 2006

I LOVE puzzles

The tincanman provides wonderful time-wasting entertainment. Here is my latest discovery via tcm. I am partway through the fiendish (apparently) riddle. It is wonderful.

And to you know who you are - this IS a challenge. Please time yourself. Points are at stake. No lying or cheating.

I took 3 minutes from absolute start (ie clicking on the link) to get to level 4
then 5 minutes on level 4, where I am still stuck. So now I am pausing and will resume tomorrow.
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lacklustre

This space has been very lacklustre recently. I am tired. I started back at work this week, and I started an exercise program for the first time in years and I have been having emotional dramas (all completely self-inflicted wtih very little basis in reality). So thats mental, physical and emotional exhaustion all covered.

Anyway in the midst of the emotional dramas I have been having a discussion with Bob. It is one of many possible interesting threads. Don't you find it strange you emotional dramas always yield lots of interesting ideas? Well, they do for me.

Anyway, this particular "discussion" (our discussions are actually closer to arguments particularly at the moment - I am blaming Mars and Pluto and Bob is most likely blaming me) is about negativity and whether negativity (ie thinking "bad" thoughts) is good or bad and how/why.

Bob thinks that negative thoughts should be transformed into positive thoughts. I don't totally agree. I think negative thoughts are just as valid and useful as positive thoughts and instead of making them feel inadequate by changing them into something "better" you should just accept them and feel them then think positive thoughts.

I know that probably sounds like we are syaing the exact same thing. The other Bob probably say it was all irrelevant anyway....that we are arguing about nothing...which is most likely true.
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I have nothing to say

Or too much. I don't know which.

Regardless, I have nothing suitable to say here. I might change my mind later and blog all sorts of whiny annoying stuff ... we'll see.

I know. Lets talk about the Big Day Out.

I am extremely annoyed that the two acts I wanted to see (Iggy & The Stooges and The Mars Volta) are scheduled to play at the exact same time!

I am also not sure I feel like being stuck in crowds of people for hours and hours with no alcohol except beer to drink. I usually need lots of spirits to enjoy crowds of that magnitude. But I have days in which to get used to the idea.
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falling sand game

Falling Sand Game

I can't quite figure this out. Yet it is addictive.
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Monday, January 09, 2006

trying not to fall

I am currently trying to maintain a holding pattern.

So, no progress on any front.
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Thursday, January 05, 2006

tingle

I usually avoid surf-shops. The clothes are a) over-priced and b) too boring and clone-like. However, today I got dragged into a surf shop by a friend. She was browsing and I was bored so I ended up looking through the various pamphlets and flyers they had. I picked up a "Learn to Surf" pamphlet and put it in my bag and forgot about it until just now.

And now I have remembered about it and .... wait for it .....

I have discovered that thinking about surfing makes me smile invountarily and makes me tingle!

That NEVER happens!

I am very pleased and also a little puzzled. It's not like I haven't thought about surfing before. But all those other times I never got this reaction. Still, I will take this as a wonderful occurence.

As you probably realise I have lots of good ideas and I am genuinely interested in most things. It's just that I don't feel anything about most things.

Anyway it doesn't matter whether I do anything about it or not, the important thing is that I am glad that I can feel tingly about something. And surfing IS cool. And I ADORE surf beaches and waves.
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doing nothing

four days of:
alpha centauri + junk food + being a slob + no outside contact + pity parties + sci-fi novels + sci-fi dvds + over-analysing + ignoring my phone + staying up all night = a very nice holiday indeed!

Which is not your typical "holiday." The first day of hibernating inside I was feeling guilty that I wasn't outside in the sun or at the beach or catching up with friends/family or "doing something" - but I have to get over the trying to be like everyone else thing.

Besides, if this is what refreshes me then this is what refreshes me. I am almost ready to face life again. I even got my paints for the first time in over a year. I just wish the holiday was a bit longer.
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Tuesday, January 03, 2006

pause

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Monday, January 02, 2006

life

strategies that don't work:
1. Positive thinking
2. Living the moment
3. Drifting
4. Goal setting and planning
5. Gratitude
6. Trusting the universe (faith)
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