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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Tegan & Sara, Goldfrapp, and Depeche Mode: A tale of addiction overlapping and multiplied

Allegories everywhere. Here is another one, which also doubles as a new music diary/review.

So Jealous
bright just like the stars above me
Just a few days ago I was addicted to Tegan and Sara's "So Jealous" album. It was quite intense as far as music addictions go. I listened to So Jealous continuously for 3 days in a row. Now I am in a strange position that I don't think I have been in before, at least not with respect to music.

In the weekend, even though I had nowhere enough of Tegan & Sara, I shifted to Goldfrapp. I still loved Tegan & Sara just as much as I did before, but the excitement of something new made it necessary to put Tegan & Sara aside. It is impossible to listen to Goldfrapp all day if you are also listening to Tegan & Sara all day. Well...not impossible, but not very pleasant.

Goldfrapp Weekend
So on Saturday I started off with Black Cherry. About time too...I think a year has past since I intended to obtain a copy of Black Cherry. Ever since I first heard of Black Cherry I KNEW I would eventually obtain a copy, and so I wasn't in any rush. There is a time for everything.
Here I wanna be a stranger
Drift in and then out just linger
Slow motion you fall
Like a blossom
Way out there on a star
Nova lazy

Write it down but
Don't send the letter
When it shines it's forever
Here I wanna be a stranger

~ Forever by Goldfrapp
On Sunday I was on to Goldfrapp's latest album, Supernature. Excellent! A new addiction for a day.

I like both those Goldfrapp albums, but I would say Supernature is more accessible than Black Cherry, which may or may not be a good thing.
This crazy life
This crazy world
We're living in is

~ from Fly Me Away by Goldfrapp

A Pain That I'm Used To
Then on Monday I still hadn't had nearly enough of Goldfrapp, but I came across Depeche Mode's new album "Playing the Angel". So even though I still had the Tegan & Sara and Goldfrapp addictions floating around unresolved, I sneaked a listen of "Playing the Angel". Good idea? I'm not sure. Maybe I should've just waited. Maybe I should've gotten everything else out of my system first, but I guess sometimes you just can't wait and newness is so exciting!

So, am I addicted to Depeche Mode? I'm not sure, I haven't gotten past the first song, "A Pain That I'm Used To." I can safely say I am addicted to that song. I have been listening to it continuously for the past couple of days. Definitely another crush. I have no idea what the rest of the album is like.

I have been thinking about why I am addicted to that song. I'm sure there are several reasons. I know one is the catchy guitar riffs; another reason is the lyrics, they resonate; and another reason is that it reminds of something. Actually, it reminds me of several things. One of those things I have finally figured out: the singer sounds like ex-Mute-singer-who-now-runs-the-odeon-lounge-but-I-forget-his-name when he sings my favourite Mute song. I haven't figured out the other reasons yet. Maybe that is the essence of why I am addicted: a resonance, an echo of the past, and a puzzle.
I'm not sure what I'm looking for anymore
I just know that I'm harder to console
I don't see who I'm trying to be instead of me
But the key is a question of control

All this running around, well it's getting me down
Just give me a pain that I'm used to
I don't need to believe all the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve something that rings true

~ from A Pain That I'm Used To by Depeche Mode

Overlapping and Multiplied
So here I am. Several separate addictions. All incomplete. Unresolved. And all still in an all-or-nothing state. A very strange feeling. I want to be three people so I can listen to all of them right now.

What to do.

Can I go back? Will Tegan & Sara and Goldfrapp be the same when I return? Have I lost something or gained something? I know I want to return. To finish the addictions I started, but I have changed, moved on. I am different.
Will the new me be disappointed in those unfinished addictions?

Which of these addictions will last? Will I still like and listen to all these albums a year from now? Or will one or more be relegated to the temporary crush pile of cds that I never listen to anymore. I think I can tell, but what practical difference does that make?

Is it better to ignore crushes and spend all my time only listening to those rare few albums that will make it to my "all-time-favourite" list? No. That would mean I would never find anything new.

Or, should I live the moment and make the most of temporary pop-crushes while they last even though it means putting the temporarily less exciting all-time-favourites? No. Then I would spend all my time listening to new pop-crushes. My favourites would languish forgotten, which is un acceptable.

Is it impossible to have more than one addiction at a time? I have no idea. Can someome tell me?

Unfortunately it is looking like maybe the "answer" is balance. Moderation. A bit of each. Just like all the other life answers. How annoying!

Yes. This whole post is very pointless and over-analysed. You'd think I had nothing better to do.

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