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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

am I lying to myself when everyone else here sees right through me?

Sarong Shadow
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anyway i can see for miles and miles

there's no rest for these feelings
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honestly I'm starting to think that I'm lost

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there's no rest for these feelings and I think that enough is enough

Sarong Shadow
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then suddenly i'm in the middle of the part i love

then suddenly i'm in the middle of the part i love
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Monday, April 24, 2006

mutilate the meanings so they're easy to deny

I have been quiet lately because:

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Sunday, April 16, 2006

It is official

I am VERY fat. Nearly Obese. I wish I never stepped on the stupid scales!
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annoying technology

Well I never thought I'd have to read the instruction manual in order to figure out how to use a set of scales!

All I want to do is weigh my luggage. But no, the scales won't let me do something so simple. I can't simply stand on the scales and get my weight. Oh no. The scales need to know my age, gender, height and activity level. Then I can stand on them. And then they will quickly flash a whole lot of numbers: weight, body fat, TBL (whatever the hell that is). Problem is they flash them far to quickly for me to read. So I have to keep pressing recall.

I guess when I stand on the scales with my luggage they will tell me I am obese with a dangerously high body fat!
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Saturday, April 15, 2006

not-so-sentimental suze

I am in the middle of sorting through all my stuff...stuff at my place and stuff I have stored in my Mum's garage. I am quite amazed at the things I had kept...old bus tickets, old brochures, ALL my uni notes, lots of old school work, old clothes, old toys, etc... Although I can't quite see why I wanted to keep old bus tickets.

Anyway I am quite pleased that I am a horder. I came across a lot of things like tax returns, pay slips, employment contracts etc that may prove very useful. And I didn't even realise that I had them!

I am being very ruthless. Throwing out stuff that I would usually keep. I even have a large pile of books to sell.

Although there are some things that I just can't throw out even though I probably should. For example, there is Turtle. Turtle is a rather large stuffed toy (large enough for a small child to sit on). Turtle is quite ugly and covered in material I detest and wears a bizarre hat. I would never in a million years choose to buy Turtle new. Now you'd think that if I can't bear to part with Turtle then I must've had Turtle since I was very young or maybe someone important gave Turtle to me.

Well... no...

I bought Turtle at a school fair when I was around 15-16 years old and past the stuffed toy age. It was near the end of the fair and I wandered into the toy room. There were still quite a few toys left, but I only noticed Turtle and Dog. Turtle had a price tag of 10 cents and Dog had a price tag of 5 cents. Dog was really cheap because Dog had no hair, no eyes and no nose. Dog was basically a Dog shaped stuffed thing with a very very very worn coat.

I felt so sorry for Turtle and Dog! They were both so ugly and it was clear that no one would buy them and their price tags were much much lower than all the other toys. So I bought them. Because I felt sorry for them and I wanted them to have a nice home. I couldn't bear to think that they might be dumped in a rubbish dump or burnt. I was quite emotional about these ugly and old stuffed animals!

So, ever since then Turtle and Dog have had pride of place amongst my other well-loved toys. I have actually managed to part with various other stuffed animals, which theoretically should have a much higher sentimental value, but not Turtle or Dog. Even now, when I am being ruthless and getting rid of a lot of things with sentimental value, I can't bear that Turtle and Dog will be thrown out and not appreciated. It is ridiculous! But I can see that it is entirely possible that I will have Turtle and Dog forever.
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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

view from deck chair

view from my deck chair
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Tuesday, April 04, 2006


I am on holiday! Well. I might pop in to work tomorrow. I'm meeting someone for lunch. But no work work for 6 days! And then 3 days of work and then another 6 day holiday!
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Monday, April 03, 2006


It's 2am and I wake up with a craving for a peanut butter sandwich. And it's not the groggy wake up half asleep in the middle of the night thing either, I am wide awake. Weird. Anyway, I have eaten the sandwich so it's back to bed...
...and no more waking up in the middle of the night please...
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