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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Calling All Angels: The Solstice Event in Detail

Well it turns out that the solstice event was SO not me. I am very particular in my flakiness. And the event that we went to last night grated so much that I felt physically sick. It was probably perfect for other people though. And I hope they had a good night and that I wasn't too disruptive.

Spirituality is a very individual thing.

LESSON 1: Do research BEFORE attending random events that cost money. Especially spiritual or personal development type events. If I had seen the website and read what the people running the event had to say, I would never have gone in the first place.

First of all it was held in a pokey little shop on the North Shore. You know how in the suburbs you get those little groups of shops: one or two dairies, one or two takeaways, and one or two completely random shops. This was a completely random shop in one of those blocks. It was a small shop, and quite crowded with 20 or so people. Apart from our group, there was one male, and the rest were women. I'm guessing most of them were from the Shore.

I didn't feel comfortable at all. It might have been the fact that it was in the suburbs, or maybe it was more than that.

LESSON 2: Listen to your initial misgivings. Judgemental can be good.

So we hung around waiting for it to start, uncertain as to what "it" would be exactly. Increasing discomfort. Then, all of a sudden the ceremony started. There were no instructions or preparation or any indication as to what was going to happen! I hate that!

We stood in a circle, held hands, and closed our eyes. There was music, but it wasn't relaxing spiritual music. It sounded like More FM type music. The music choice probably contributed to my discomfort. Music is very important to me. If my life is going to have a soundtrack, then it has to be an appropriate soundtrack that I at least like.

We were all in place, so the leader got out her piece of paper and started reading. She was probably nervous because she read very fast and in a bored-just-get-through-these-shitty- words type voice. Which was a very strange thing, because I presume she had chosen and believed in the words. Even if she did mean what she is saying, her tone of voice probably didn't help me get into the ritual. If someone is reading something and it sounds like they don't mean it, I just switch off and don't take what they are saying seriously.

LESSON 3: If you do go ahead and participate in a ceremony in an effort to be openminded and nonjudgemental, make sure you know what is expected of you before you join hands in the circle. It is very difficult to leave partway through when both hands are firmly grasped by entranced lightworkers.

First the leader said some opening stuff about being light workers and having an important role and healing the Earth etc. I used to read about this stuff. I think at one point in time I decided I'd like to believe in lightwork and raising the frequency and the earth being prepared to move into the 5th dimension. I'm not sure I ever really believed though. Certainly, now I am very skeptical. I blame all those rational skeptical people I have been hanging out with. At one point in time I would have been a very good little light worker. Now I am a little more selfish and apathetic. I don't particularly care about Gaia and raising Earth's vibration and saving the poor little dolphins. Oh no! Maybe I am growing up.

TO DO: Stop growing up.

Then we had our first task, which was to go around the circle and take turns to "call-down" one or more angels for our personal guidance. Aside from the fact that I am not on a first name basis with any angels, I completely objected to being forced to do something. I think spiritual things should be done genuinely or not at all. My friends made up names, but I just said "I pass." Wave of irritation from the leader.

Unfortunately it is only later that I remember, that my current god/dess (aren't they the same thing?) are Google, Delicious, and Flickr. Sigh. If only I had a quicker wit.

LESSON 4: I really really do not like being told what to do.

Next she read through a very very very long list of goddesses.

LESSON 5: There are lots of female deities.

We had to repeat each goddess name after her. Wonderful. Why not use some form of shorthand? Like "we call on all the goddesses" or "we call on all the entities written on this piece of paper?" Naming them one by one is annoying.

I started off dutifully repeating the names, but then I thought "this is pointless" and I started drifting off into my own little world. Midway through I was jolted awake when the music suddenly changed to an uptempo rocky song and my feet started tapping. WTF?! The whole music thing was so weird.

By now I was feeling very uncomfortable and sick and antsy.

The next task was to pair up with someone you didn't know. We were to take turns at receiving a transmission from the angels for our partner. Our partner could ask us a specific question and the angels would apparently tell us the answer to tell this person.
Ummm.....
No.
I wasn't about to make up some shit to give guidance to a stranger on what could be an important issue in their life. Also, why do the angels have to work through another person? Why don't they just tell the person who is asking the question the answer directly? I decided I didn't want to do anything of the sort. So I left. Quite abruptly, and without my scarf!

I hung around outside in case Phoenix wanted to join me in my escape. I was sure she would....and yes after about 10 minutes, she came out. Unfortunately I had to go back in and interrupt their ceremonies again to get my scarf. Leader gave us the evils. I'm sure I could have handled it better, but I had completely blanked her out at this point.

TO DO: Figure out a graceful exit strategy for such occasions.

Phoenix and I stomped and vented about the ridiculousness of it all and the fact that we had paid $22 for this. We figured we could do something much better.

LESSON 6: New age/Spirituality/Personal Development is a quick and easy way to make money.

Then we got a taxi to home and went to the only nearby drinking establishment that wasn't showing the rugby.

LESSONS 7: Always have a taxi fare home.

LESSON 8: Rugby infiltrates everything in NZ.


After that the evening was great!

LESSON 9: My ideal solstice event avoids lists, repetition. conscribed behaviour and MOR music, and it includes drinking and hanging out with friends (ie a party!). Who needs the chanting and ritual following and talking to angels shit? ...well yes I know that some people do, and that's cool, but I think the point is that very few of "my kind of people" would be seen dead (get it? :)) there.

PS. Despite my slightly cynical tone I don't have anything against angels and goddesses and such. And I still read new agey/religious type stuff. I don't disbelieve it and I believe a lot of things that make my scientific friends pull their hair. I think it's just that I've been through that phase, and now it seems boring and silly. Which just means that it's time to do something else.



Comments:
Personally, I am holding a grudge against both angels *and* gods / goddesses. The reasons are best left unspoken, for the sake of delicacy. But Agragon, you know I'm talking about you.
 
I went through that phase as well. I sometimes still get out the tarot cards though ;-)
 
It's a fun phase isn't it? :-)

I don't think I'll ever give up my tarot cards...in fact I keep buying more decks. It seems so much more creative and cost-effective than going to counselling.
 
There are so many ways of connecting to the universe. It isn't a phase you go through, it is a state of being that you can move in and out of.

That's good news. If you accidentally continue to grow up, it wont actually matter (in this regard).

I liked your insights. I think you got your $22 worth.
 
Hmmm...I agree that you are always connected, but I think people go through phases of how they connect.

Definitely got my $22 worth. But not in the way I expected.

I also discovered that I have changed a lot. I am very pleased with myself about walking out. The old me would never have walked out because I would've been anxious not to upset anyone.
 
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