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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Today I Thought These Things

Don't Go Anywhere Without Your Camera.
Recently I have been going everywhere without my camera. A dramatic change from a few months ago. Today I regretted it immensely. On the way home I saw a complete rainbow and the sky was generally amazing. The sun setting on a cloudy day creates a strange light.There were lots of I-wish-I-had-my-camera moments.

Fatigue is Frustrating. So is not having any money.
People keep inviting me to things this Saturday. Which would be a completely different which-thing-should-I-go-to dilemma if I wasn't so tired and poor. But seeing as I am tired and poor it is more like a three-really-cool-things-I would-love-to-go-to-but-will-probably-miss dilemma. Although I will definitely miss two of them. I can only be in one place at a time. I can see it now...the one place I will be on Saturday night is at home.

I really want to go to the surf competition after-party at Muriwai. Todd and Kevin and Stu's bands are playing. And there will be surfie types. I don't think I can go because it is too far away and I am too tired and I can't afford it.

Other friends might be having something to celebrate Queen's Day. But the suburbs are still too far away. I can't afford taxis. And there is still the likelihood of just wanting to sleep.

Then there is the Hot Swiss Mistress gig at the Dogs Bollix. It is a safe (ie walking) distance. But I think I might still be too poor and too tired.

How frustrating! When do I get my life back? I don't know why I am so tired. I keep napping and cancelling on people I want to see and things I want to do.

If You Eat Enough Junk Food it Eventually Catches Up.
Perhaps the brink of death is not a good enough reason to eat only junk food.

Maybe a Diet High in Burgers Does Not Satisfy Iron Requirements.
Maybe I should be taking my iron supplements regularly. Perhaps my fatigue is a result of the other peoples blood being phased out and replaced by my own iron deficient blood.

I wish the interweb had more information about anaesthetics and blood transfusions and such. People say things like "it takes 3-6 months to recover from a major op" and "every hour under anaesthetic means an extra month of recovery time". But where are the sources of their information? I need to read the studies and science myself. I also need proof to wave around and assert myeslf. I know I look better than I have for the past few years and people tend to assume because I look great and say I feel really good (which I do) that I can do things normal people can do (which I can't because I don't have the energy).

Sometimes its just a weird mineral deficiency, which is being made worse by Coke (and other high sugar intake items) and alchohol (max one glass of red wine a day for you until you are better).

Its time to get tough. Have a good sleep, detox and tough it out.

Bruce Lee once said "We are shaped by the fires of our Will."

Or maybe he didn't, but it was just the kind of thing he might have said.
I wouldn't be surprised if it was a mineral deficiency. I don't think chocolate and fast food and alcohol have all the required minerals.


That doesn't sound fun!
i would start with taking the iron tablets!

and then remember: we are poor too. let's all be poor together!!
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