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Sunday, February 19, 2006


I really ought to stop reading Sir Humphreys. Something regularly appears to make me feel like crap. I don't need that.

It seems to me that lots of people think that if you are an unmarried and childless woman then you are abnormal, a second class citizen and destined to be sour, bitter and lonely.

It is depressing to think that maybe they are right.

ps if people are allowed to be offended by the words "caregiver" and "partner" then I am allowed to be upset by this.

People are always going to think that their view of the world is the right one, whatever that view happens to be (e.g., "traditional" family roles, etc), and anyone who doesn't conform to their norm is wrong or destined for something bad.

Guess what? They don't know crap. There isn't just one way to be.

I thank Zarathustra (or Buddha, or Zeus, or the ether) for the things that make people different. For some people, being in a "family" works for them. For others, other situations work better. And those other situations do not destine one to a bad or unhappy life. Just marching to a different drummer. Which I happen to think is great.

I shouldn't let it bother me. But it does. A part of me worries that they might be right.
It's hard to convince yourself intellectually to discregard something you feel in your gut.

When I get bothered by not being as popular at work as others, my friend asks me "But why do you want to be popular with *them*?" And I have to agree, that they're people I wouldn't care to hang with, but it doesn't stop me from being bothered by not being popular with them.

But Suze, what they say about you matters not at all. If you want change, you will find change in your life. From what you've been saying, it sounds like you've been preparing for it both consciously and unconsciously. I look forward to learning the results...
I'm not surprised to hear that you read crap like that on Sir Humphrey's... Sometimes they're a real hoot - but they're not known for progressiveness or tolerance.

Speaking personally, some of the most interesting and intelligent people I know are unmarried and childless women. And some of them are even - yes, shock-horror SirHumphs! - unmarried and childless by choice.

I believe that everyone should simply try and do what they really want to do (in terms of family or whatever) unencumbered by the limitations that petty little minds want to place on the rest of society.
Why does it seem people have so much to say about single people? Why is it that us single people listen to what others have to say?

Let's focus on what God is saying first and second and third and so on!!
And sometimes it is not by choice. It wouldn't bother me nearly so much if it was by choice.
True. Anyone who criticises someone, either for a lifestyle choice that they've made, or for events beyond their control, needs to get a life of their own...
But apparently for some people, criticizing others would appear to be what gives their own lives meaning.

How sad.
Yes, I've noticed that too, David. I've also noticed that blogs seem to give these people carte blanche, or should that be 'dutch courage', to say a multitude of insulting and offensive things that they would never have the balls to say to the recipients of the comments, in person. I guess that's the price of all this 'freedom of speech' (which I still think is a good thing overall of course!)...
You really are a hypocritical creep Cheezy. You come on to our blog and insult us (you've given up on that - good), blatantly lie or ignorantly spread falsehoods and refuse to admit that, then have the temerity to say "blogs seem to give these people carte blanche, or should that be 'dutch courage'", as if your behaviour wasn't that of someone intentionally trying to piss other people off.

And Suze, you need to get a grip. The rest of the world does not need to withhold discussion on topics you find personally sensitive, for whatever reason.

And what is with this "they" crap? When I link other blogs I am careful to identify who it is I'm talking about rather than slur a wide range of people, in our case being eight very different authors and many commenters of greatly varying backgrounds. You really have no excuse to not specify who you are talking about, given blog software is designed that way. But then, of course, you would be guilty of "say[ing] a multitude of insulting and offensive things that they would never have the balls to say to the recipients of the comments, in person".

And David... your vague suck-up comments on this blog have become tiresomely predictable. I'm pretty sure I could write a bit of PHP which constructs your comments from some snippets of text such as "Suze, you are right.", "Everyone is unique", "All views are valid and valuable", "The [non-European religious book] says..." blah blah blah.
Hello AL,

Why do I need to get a grip? Who said I have to be rational? I am allowed to be offended and upset. I am allowed to say so. And I am saying it here.

It is good that Sir Humphreys discusses these topics. The world can discuss whatever it likes. I am not saying "stop talking about things that upset me" I am saying "if these things upset me then maybe I should stop reading them."

I also think (and perhaps should have said) that being offended and upset can be good because it forces me to look at why I am offended and upset. It is one of the reasons I like Sir Humphreys...it is challenging. But there are limits. Sometimes I need a holiday from ebing emotionally challenged.
Well, I guess AL's told us then! Do you feel better now, lil fella? Good...

And may we all have the wisdom to heed his wise, temperate words.

I would respond in kind, but this is a nice blog and provoking the sort of "me righty right you lefty wrong" spiel that passes for penetrating political analysis on SHs would make the nasty pooey smell you've left here even more rancid. So I'll bite my tongue :)

PS: I haven't actually 'given up' having a laugh at some of the echoing lemons who post on SHs, but I'm a busy man... but I might be seeing you after my hols! Hope you don't miss me too much..
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