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Sunday, November 20, 2005

Not a Happy Birthday Poem

will these words calm me down
soothe my mind
put me back to sleep
if I ask nicely
will you save me

will these thoughts die a silent death
will I be their only witness

every clarifying thought hurts
every choice leads me further away
and I don't always like it here in my universe

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Words, once given life
Take flight
Make their own choices
And live forever

They infect the souls of others
Take up residence there
And procreate

Thought hurts
Thought heals
Life hurts
Life heals
Every choice defines further
...who you are
...why you are
...what choice may come next

Even though
your place in the universe
may not feel right,
if you were anywhere else
right now
you wouldn't be
the you
that you are
right now
true. i'm just sick of being me and i'm tired of trying to change.
But Suze, if you're not you, who will be, and would you really trust it to someone else? After all, who's going to be a better you than you?
If I'm not me, then noone will be me. That's all.

My goal has never been to "be the best person that I can be."
I'm not sure I necessarily meant it in the way that you may have taken it, but then again, I was mostly just being silly.

The question which arises is, if you're not you, then who will you be?
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