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Monday, September 05, 2005

death (the socially acceptable version + callous postscript)

Recently there have been several deaths within my extended social circle (eg relatives of friends of friends) and of course there has been the Katrina tragedy. It has been a sad time. Why? Why did these people have to die? If only they had stayed alive a little longer.

Usually people do not think about death, but when it is forced into focus it makes you appreciate what you have. It makes you appreciate your family and friends. It makes you appreciate life.

Funerals are a time for saying goodbye, for letting go, for paying your last respects, for showing the deceased just how much you loved them.

Death is a sobering event. Especially the death of someone close to you and especially when it unexpected.

So how did that sound? Better? Did it sound sincere? I don't particularly mean any of the above. I don't disagree with anything I have written either, but it doesn't resonate with me at all. They are other people's words and feelings. My thoughts on death are probably closer to the first death post. I know that they seem inappropriate, callous, selfish and uncaring.

How about "honest"?

Someone was alive, and now they're not. To be sad for the person who died is just misplaced, cuz they're not here any more, so there's no one to feel sorry for. Or if you're a spiritual person, then the person is somewhere else, presumably not suffering. So feeling bad for the dead person doesn't really make sense.

If you were close to the dead person, then feeling bad for yourself is really just purely selfish.

Feeling bad for those who were close to the person who died is really the only thing that makes sense, but even that can be very tough.

I dunno if any of this makes any sense, but it kinda did to me as it was spilling out...
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