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Thursday, August 11, 2005


I am remembering, and because I am remembering I am wondering. Why does life only make sense in retrospect?

Does anyone else have weird, but significant/memorable events/feelings that only make sense years later? It is like "planting" in movies/books.

These past few weeks a plethora of past and semi-forgotten events have started coming back into focus. Things that didn't make sense years and months ago are, well I won't say "making sense", cause that would be wrong... umm... OK. It is like suze is a bit confused, especially the old suze. The universe knows this, so it made her do inexplicable things all those years ago, just so she would do/think about the right things now.

For example, several years ago I gave someone a really stupid gift. It was stupid even by my standards. It was a gift wrapped box. An EMPTY gift wrapped box. And yeah...they were a bit confused when they opened it. I don't even think it was a birthday or anything. At the time I was just following one of those odd impulses that I sometimes get. I had vague thoughts about it meaning something. And it did mean something, it's just that now it means more and I realise what it should've meant, and what it probably did mean, and all of a sudden something I have been thinking about now clicks into place.

But it is not just this one example, it is many past events/feelings...all clicking now in relation to one thing. It is kind of cool. Although I do want to know: Why? and Why now?

I once started to draw a map of the significant events/people in my life, and how they have led me to where I am today. I thought it would be interesting because the events/people I have had strong/weird feelings about have mostly turned out to be very significant...although obviously I am still waiting on some of them...

Sounds cool. I think that ... err hang on. I can't tell you just now. But my latest Satori post (at Zen State) is worth considering.

Sometimes, making conclusions is the wrong thing to do. It closes the mind to further learning. Just head in the right direction.
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